The Amber Effect

I've been fortunate enough to be alive for 30 years. In my short time on this planet, I've seen and experienced a lot for someone of my age. Some people say that life actually starts for you when you turn 30. Some people dread the day that they turn 30. Some people look forward to that special milestone in their lives. Me? I was DEFINITELY one of those people not looking forward to my 30th. I dreaded the day and I felt like my immortality and my invincibility were leaving me and that I would feel so weak and like a mortal. Fortunately, the sense of immortality hasn't left my mind. It has evolved though. I don't too much look at myself as immortal anymore. But I do know that I wanna live forever. Which is why it's now transformed into me making sure that I leave a legend behind that allows me to live forever. I want to be that dude that no one will ever forget. I want be the person that every one remembers when a certain word or phrase is mentioned. I want to be the person that has left a lasting impression on every one that I come in contact with so that way, I'm never forgotten.

I opened up with that because in my 30 years on this planet, I've also dealt with a lot of relationships too. A lot them have ended up being nothing. Some have been extremely important life learning sessions. A couple of them I still hold dear to my heart. But there was one that completely changed my way of thinking in terms of a relationship and taught me EASILY one of the most important lessons about approaching them moving forward. I owe it all to one woman. Our dating phase began back in 2014. Granted, we didn't last long, but because of her, I learned more about relationships within that 2 month time frame than I ever had in the years before when I first started dating.

It was a woman by the name of Amber who instilled in me a relationship mainstay that I didn't know existed before her and that I've been looking for since her. She was the first woman to give me a sense of what it meant to truly feel like you were at home in a relationship. Like she was so comforting, warm, loving. Anytime that I would go over her house, she made me feel welcomed. Her dog was a bit on the conservative side, but Peanut quickly warmed up to me. We cooked for each other. We looked after each other. It almost felt like we were a family. Me, her and the dog. Like I said, we didn't last long (it was no one's fault, just shit timing), but I understand what her purpose was in my life. It was to show me that I've been thinking about approaching relationships completely wrong. For the last 3 years I haven't come anywhere remotely close to what it was that I felt with Amber. I'm not usually one for overt sentimentality, but when it comes to that time period in my life, I hold it in high regard because of the lesson she taught me. I'm still looking for the woman who helps me to feel that again. I'll know it's real because I'm convinced that the next time I feel it, it's gonna be with the one who was meant for me. 

When that day comes, no matter who it's with, whether it's someone completely new or a woman of the past who has changed, the reason things will be different will be because of one woman. Amber Pratcher. Thank you, Amber J, for the lesson you passed onto me. You'll never know the eternal gratitude that I'll always have for you coming into my life and the imprint that you've left on it.