The truth of the matter is, and what you also fail to realize, YOU are that woman. You don't even realize it, but I cant even count how many times you've TRULY been there for me. You think that because you weren't around for Jessyca's passing that you weren't there. You think that you not being around for some of the bad things that's happened since we've known each other, that's your conclusion of you not being there for me. It will never be significant to you that just being able to look at your face makes my heart jump every time. Every time I was able to hear your voice calmed all the rage and anger that I had in me. Just seeing your smile was able to brighten my day when it was dark. Looking into your eyes, I'm able to see the true essence of the woman that hides from the world. I'm able to see and connect to you in ways that we couldn't have fathomed and the world cant understand. The language that we share with each other, no one can decipher. 1 stare at each other, a gesture, or even a small blink is an entire conversation between us and leaves others wondering what the hell is going on. The smallest touch on the other's body brings our minds, bodies, spirits, and energies into 1, perfectly fitting together like the pieces of a puzzle. We finish each others' sentences. We read each other's minds. We know what the other is about to do before the action is performed. We know each other's needs and wants before we even have the chance to voice them. Do you honestly think that 2 people THAT in tune with each other, even after separation, can just be destroyed? I don't think so.
Never again say that I should move on. You know when I'm talking out the side of my mouth, how is it any different when you tell me that? I love you too much to ever just walk away from you. Yes, you've given me tons of reasons to. Yes, I should have walked away. But will I? NO! I don't know about other people, but I made you a promise NEVER to abandon you and never to give up on you. As a matter of fact, it was you who wanted me to promise you that because you told me that you NEVER wanted me to ever leave you. It was you who loved me that much. It was you that didn't want to ever see me with another woman. It was you that said you couldn't live without me. And on that day, before Yahweh, everyone in Heaven, and yourself, I vowed that I would never leave your side, and I even went the extra mile and took a blood oath on it, and you KNOW how seriously I take those. Even after all this time and between all that's happened, there's 1 thing that I do know and have seen in your eyes. You still hope that even after everything, I would still keep my promise.
Well almost 9 months and tons of bullshit later, I'm still here, still waiting, still true to the woman I love. It's been hard and I've tried to escape it, but the fact of the matter and the honest truth? You're my destiny, well a vital part of it anyway. You are the other person to join Yahweh and myself on this journey. We both know He needed my attention, so why be upset about it? You had a mission and I needed to learn. The only thing to be upset about is the circumstances and foulness of the people that were involved in it. In hindsight, you shouldn't be upset or mad at them. All they did was help you realize who they all were. But the reason to actually thank them was because of something unforeseen. It was all of them that helped the both of us realize what we truly mean to each other, how much and how deeply we still love each other, and what to do from the time of reunion on forward. That's what I did. I love you in spite of all that I've gone through, and I've gone through hell in terms of this and have had to watch and know things that almost killed me and almost literally drove me insane, but I don't know too many men who would WILLINGLY say I'll go through this and see it through. Only true and real love can make you do that, and regardless of everything, it's what I still have for you.
I don't know if you're trying to break me, test me, see if it's still true, I don't know. All I know is that I love you. I've always been there for you anytime you called on me, and no matter what you say and all that, you know that I will always sacrifice for the sake of you. You may feel like you aren't good to me or haven't been. I honestly cant speak for you on that matter because only you know what you've been and if you have given me your all. All I can say is, never take me for granted. My loyalty lies with 2 primary people, my Master and yourself. That's all I need. I honestly don't care what you tell me. I'm not abandoning you. I've proven my love for you over and over and over again. I've been there through the worse times you had, I've been there through our worse times, I've been there through this bullshit here, and I'm still here. I've had to be separated from you. I've been commanded to walk away from you. I've been commanded to fast from you. I've had to endure this hardship. I've had to watch you kiss another dude, be all lovey dovey with him, have the knowledge of y'all copulating, of him potentially fertilizing you, EVERYTHING. I've had my name dragged down, spit on, talked about. I've been broken, bleeding, driven to a point of insanity. I've had to bare you in a car accident and the agony of me not being there, him causing the shit for the reason he did. I've had to watch you lose everything you've worked so hard and sacrificed to get without anyone's help. I've had to be ripped straight to my core. The 1 thing that never change in spite of all that? My love for you.
It was love and faith that got me to this point now, and they are the things that are carrying me to the finish line. I love you. i LOVE you. i love YOU. Te Amo. Je t'aime. Doesn't matter what language I say it in. That's the truth. I love you, in spite of what, I just cant or wont give up on you. I love you baby. No matter what happens or what changes, I love you, and if you cant believe anything else in your life as something real, the 1 thing you can know that's as real as the sunrise, I love you baby...
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