October 30. It's the day before Halloween. Everywhere all over the country and this side of the planet, kids and adults are making their last minute preparations for All Hallows Eve. Getting their costumes together. Making plans to go trick or treating, preparing the routes for the houses to hit. Everyone is absolutely excited to be something different for one day. In Detroit, the night of October 30 had a different and deadlier meaning. Devil's Night. Devil's Night has a infamous meaning in the inner city of Detroit by being a night that's filled with absolute anarchy, destruction, arson, and vandalism. It's declined drastically since the turbulent days of the 80s and 90s, but there are still those that still long for the chaos and the calamity that the 80s and 90s brought.
I gave that backdrop to start it this way. My late cousin and my first sensei, Vashawn, is originally from Detroit. He survived the rough times of Devil's Night, especially a particularly brutal one in 1994. But he was also a part of some of the destruction and chaos of those times also, so it was kind of funny that he would introduce me to a little of that world and me being my wide eyed, easily influenced self, I was hooked. It was almost like the anarchy of the night was calling out to me, just hoping that I would answer (foreshadowing lol).
I said all that to say this. Devil's Night has had 2 COMPLETELY different meanings to me. The first was just me going out and causing all sorts of destruction and chaos with my friends. Blowing up shit, being absolutely crazy, and just having fun with my friends (DISCLAIMER: I only blew up junk cars, I didn't go all out and try to fuck up people's homes and cars that they were still using). The second turned into something that became something of a hunter's mission. After Vashawn was murdered back in 2001, I honestly didn't know how the hell I would carry the hell on. I was already distraught as fuck, extremely sad, absolutely filled with rage, and deadass wanted fucking revenge. I honestly think that fate had something to do with what happened next because as I was dealing with that and wondering what I was gonna do with the rest of my life, I started going through some of his stuff, just remembering all the things he did in them, and that's when I came across the very thing that changed my life moving forward and gave my anger meaning and a medium. I came across a VHS tape of his (old as dust, I know) called The Crow. I was curious and decided to watch it and I put the tape in. INSTANTLY, I related to it. Situations may have been different, but the overall point was the same. Someone that I loved was murdered and a part of me died with that (the movie didn't really hit home for me truly until 2003 when Sonya was murdered.). The movie made so much sense to me and it gave me a great way to go and get revenge. To see his blood spilled. An eye for an eye. It became my mission, my purpose.
Fast forward 16 years, and here we are. On the verge of another Devil's Night. On the verge of another choice. Do I go out with my friends and just be a crazy ass that only damages things that have no value anymore? Or do I go out again this year hunting the new target that's threatened my life in the midst of all his bravado? There wasn't suppose to be a target this year until he decided to make himself known. This is my conundrum. I know what everyone feels like I should do. But this is different. I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do this about this decision, but I do know that it needs to be made before the Night is upon me. I do know for sure, whatever I do choose, this year's Devil's Night is a crossroads in my life and this year, it will be very telling for my life moving forward.
No comments:
Post a Comment