Man. God's most precious and cherished creation. According to the Bible, The Alpha & Omega took a day to craft the first man we know as Adam in His image. It only took a day for that creation to happen and it probably happened a lot sooner than that and God created tons more on that day. But it was that day, that day that Adam first breathed the breath of life. That 1 day to God equates to about roughly 200,000 years ago since Adam was first born. Since then, man has gone through a DRASTIC change. From what Adam was all those eons ago to man now marveling at it's own intelligence (sometimes it's limited) from the technological advancements that he has produced now in the 21st Century. Things have certainly changed, haven't they? I guess the point of this entry is not to discuss how man has changed down through the eons. I think it would have to be how man has changed in terms of thinking and conduct. I could mention how God has blessed man down through the millennia, but that is definitely not where I want to go (yes, God will still be a part of this 1 too, lol).
What do you think of when you think of a man? Are there certain qualities that you feel a man should have? Certain milestones that he should have crossed in order to become 1? Should he already have certain possessions that would then qualify him to have that title? Think about it for a minute...finished thinking? Good. Now what did you think about? Can you name any good males in your life based of YOUR definition of a man? I read an interesting study where 6 young males, aged 20-26, and mid-life males, aged 35-45, were asked what it means to be a man. It was definitely an interesting read to say the least, but the most SHOCKING part about all of it? Not ONE of them could define what being a man meant PERSONALLY to them. The young males threw out ideas like, getting drunk for the first time, having sex for the first time, being able to vote, going to school, getting a full time job, sexual maturation, and other things. The mid-life males mostly all said that becoming a father was the sense of manhood to them. Now, while this study was of Australian men, it's kinda alarming that NOT 1 of these men could personally recall something that made them a man, or their definition of it at lease. Fatherhood is DEFINITELY a good indicator of that sense of becoming a man, but as this society knows, ANYONE can become a daddy (or the term that's gathering strength, sperm donor lol), but it takes a male with a solid sense of responsibility and morals instilled in him to be a father. If you were to walk up to any male that you know, do you think that they would be able to give you an answer of what being a man is? Do they use societal standards? Or do they have their own sense of what a man SHOULD be, according to them?
Let's take a look at society's standards of becoming a man. According to American society, a "real man" is suppose to be a consumer and a conqueror. A man of today's society isn't consider as such unless he obtains a certain degree of success, acquired the minimum of money that can be considered worthy of being a man and let his greed mold him into a great man, dated and/or slept with a number of women, the number can also depend on who you're asking, and also acquired the minimum of worldly possessions as possible. Also included are the music of today that reinforce all of which was stated before, the media who also reinforce all of which are stated, and then you have movies, which again, reinforce all of which was just stated. In this society, if you don't have any of those things or done any of those things, you aren't a man and are still left in the boyhood category. The funny, but mostly ironic thing about this is, most of these "men" who have these things and have achieved this level of manhood act like the BIGGEST KIDS on the planet. Everybody ages biologically, but does everyone grow up? Sometimes it's hard to tell. When do you let go of childish things that are so elementary and high school? Some say when you come out of those times. Others say when you become 18, 21, or even 25. But the heartbreaking fact of it all is, there are those 26, 27, 30, and sad to say 40+ males running around with the sense and feeling that they are still in the wet behind the ears, still have a lot to learn teenage years.
Being a man is a LOT more than the things that you can get, have, and go through. It's more than just working to obtain all of these things. And it's even more than having all of them. Being a man is something MORE than just the physical and material. Being a man is learning to accept responsibility that are both asked of you and required of you. It's about knowing that everything ISN'T just about you. Protecting and providing for those that you hold near and dear to you. Being selfless, standing up for what's right, and something important to me, knowing that women are a part, help sake, and equal to a man, rather than someone you can take advantage of, have sex with when your hormones deem so, or treating them like there are just another thing you can get tired of and replace when you get bored. It's about respecting others, even though you may not like them. Doing things that you just shouldn't do by a certain age. It's in these times that the mentor is GREATLY missed. Mentors were always there to straighten their protege. To be an aide on the journey the student was on. To help the student be mindful of the mistakes the mentor made in that same situation and to help them not make those same mistakes. That aspect of life is either totally gone or replaced with something that's either completely false and fabricated that it brainwashes and convinces males of today that this is real life.
The craziest thing about this is that when you do come at a male about things like this, they take it as you're attacking their "manhood." But then the question arises, "How can you attack something that you have no clue about?" "How can you attack something that you don't know how to live?" While yes, there are some things that do give off that sense of becoming a man, the path of manhood is 1 that begins when you come out of the womb. It's a never ending path, sure, but how long does it take before you realize that there are things bigger than you? There are people who should come before you. There are senses of morality that should just be a part of your life. You can make every excuse in the world for why males act the way they do. Hell, males can make all the excuses in the world for why they act the way they do, but the 1 thing that has been missing from MOST males' morality and pretty much vocabulary also, accountability. When is the point that we must stand on our own 2 and take responsibility for the things we have caused, people we have wronged, and those we have hurt beyond belief. When is the point where we try to put the wrong things right? Part of being a man is facing this and striving to do right, regardless of the consequences or the personal loss we could possibly face.
Does becoming a man also mean the loss of the conscience? Does becoming a man mean that moral choices are completely out of the door now and the only 1s that matter are the choices that we make to please only ourselves? I know I'm probably raising more questions than answers, but these are questions that need to be asked. Personally, I honestly know that my path on the journey that is manhood will never be over until I meet my Creator, but I can say that I know there have been things in my life that's happened to me and that's forced and helped me choose the things of trying to become a better man. Protecting those that I love and that I'm loyal to, putting other's needs and wants before mine, caring for my daughter when she was here (Rest.In.Love. Jessyca), ALWAYS keeping my word whenever I gave it, and ALWAYS striving to keep my integrity when there were times I shouldn't have and justified times when I didn't have to, but still CHOSE to do so anyway. Anybody can back up all that I have said, especially 1 (ain't that right, baby? lol). But not to sound arrogant or that I'm the shining example of a man. I DO have my downfalls, selfish times, my anger can get out of control at times, and there are even times that I want to go back to the world of cannabis and alcohol, but I choose not to because of the fact that I AM a changed man. God has picked me up from what I used to be and how my ways were and set me on a path that He deems me worthy of walking in His eyes.
I don't need to hide behind smoking, drinking, success, material possessions, money, or even my girl. I was a man before I ever encountered any of those things. I can say this because I had the right mentors at the times that God allowed them in my life to help with various parts of my life and even God Himself has stepped in and been my personal Mentor for things that only He could have taught me because I had to get it right on the first try. I can sit here and say that my life was a living hell. I can say that my father did some dirty things in terms of raising me. I can say that I've had to experience tremendous loss in my life at a time where I should have been a normal teenager and just beginning to experience life. I had to live it in a totally different perspective and learn the extreme dark side. But because of all of that, I'm not gonna make excuses for it. All I had to do was make a choice. I was either gonna let all that has happened to me define who I am. Or I was gonna rise above it and still choose to be a man, and a good 1 at that, in spite of all that I've been through. I'm not a man because of my circumstances and the things I've experienced. I can stand on my own 2 and call myself a man through my circumstances, choosing to do what was right and take on my responsibilities. It's because of God and the mentors that He gave me that I am who I am today, a man that's still growing and still learning how to do this thing called life. You can use all the distractions that you want to, but the sobering fact is, life will still be here when you get back and you still will have to handle and deal with it.
The fact of the matter is we have a lot of males running around on this planet, but very few men. From here on out, there is no need for another male to call out another male's "manhood." There's only 1 that a male should call out and he's the 1 that you see everyday when you look in the mirror. I can say that I'm a man and I don't need to falter in my definition of it either. Can you say the same thing?
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