Birth of the Next Dragons: LSG

Over the last couple of weeks, my life really has gone through nothing but tests. It truly did seem like my world was sent straight to the depths of Tartarus (It's the Greek version of Hell, trust me, theirs is a lot more twisted). I've lost the 2 women that were most important to me both in terms of love and life. Charlize, the Lady Dragon, and myself are no more and that killed my heart. I also lost the love of a daughter in my baby girl, Jessyca Adryenne Demya Iverson. Losing my daughter is something that NO parent should EVER have to experience. Yes, she was my surrogate daughter and her true biological father was laid to rest before she was even born, but it doesn't change the fact that I loved that little girl like she was my own. It just feels as though everything is being taken from me, everything is trying its damnest to bring me down. Everything is trying to break me. Everything is trying to revert me back to what I once was. I would be lying if I said that those dark and angry times, wanting mayhem, causing destruction, thirsting for blood and unable to quench it didn't make me wanna turn back to it for just 1 day. There are times that I wanna delve back into the insanity that is the Joker and laugh at what humans take seriously, basking in the fact that this life and the humans that occupy it are the universe's biggest jokes. HA! HA! HA!

AS MUCH as I wanna go back to that life and just say fuck it all and enjoy bringing anarchy and chaos back to the world, (after all it was the Joker himself who said all it takes is 1 bad day for a man to go insane) I just cant do it and it's because of 1 HUGE, IMPORTANT, MONUMENTAL reason. And the crazy part about it?!?! That HUGE, IMPORTANT, MONUMENTAL reason hasn't even been conceived and born yet.

Whenever that day is, whatever month it's in, whatever year she's born, the world will stop for a second and the angels will sing when Lilliana Simone Gatewood arrives in the world and takes her first breath. That's honestly the day that my life will DEFINITELY change. That little girl is gonna be the reason so much of me changes PERMANENTLY for the good. I've had numerous visions of her just bopping around everywhere, getting into any and everything, and smiling her beautiful face off while she does it. My little angel has the most beautiful smile that I've EVER seen anybody have and it can truly light up your day when you feel that you're down to the lowest point. I see her dancing her little tail off ALL the time. She always running around with a big bear that I bought her. She takes it everywhere she goes and it's like her best friend, lol. I swear every time you see her she always has her hair up in a ponytail just like Fred Flintstone's daughter, Pebbles, which is where she gets her other nickname from. My angel will definitely be 1 that takes the world by storm. She will be raised with glory and honor of God and be instilled with values and the honor code of Bushido. My beautiful angel will be a Dragon in her own right because she will be trained to the highest level and everything that I know she will also possess. She will be a musical genius, knowing how to make her instrument of choice sing to crowds that will be hanging off every note that she plays.

My Lilli, understand that I love you SOOOOOOOO much. Even though you aren't in this world yet, you are the reason that I wake and that I still breathe. All the days and nights that I have to hold you and let you know how much I love you so much and how much you mean to me are times that I truly treasure. We will have our times when we clash, when we will butt heads, where you will totally disagree with what I'm doing. All I can say is trust me, baby. I wanna be able to give you the world and let you live your life, but the first thing that you must first realize and come to terms with is that I am your father. I must do what's best for you, even if you don't agree with it or want to do otherwise. I will make you this promise. It's something that a lot of fathers either don't do or they run out on it. Lilliana Simone, I make this VOW to you. I will ALWAYS be there for you. I will NEVER run out on you or ever abandon you when you need me the most. I PROMISE to...no, I PROMISE that I WILL and that I'm GOING TO BE the best father that I possibly can to you. Your life is the most precious thing in the world to me. You will be a certified Daddy's Girl, lol. I can say right now that if anybody tried doing you any kind of wrong, physical or not, they can count on themselves not breathing anymore. You've already lost your sister when Jessyca passed and I'll be damned to let that happen to you, my little princess. Regardless of who comes and who goes, I will always be with you and loyal to you, my Lilliana. I love you so much baby and when you are born, we will be inseparable. The only way that I will leave you, my daughter, is if the good Lord calls me home. Other than that, I'm all yours for whenever you need me, baby. I love you so much, Lilliana, and I will see you when you're born...