To My Angel of the Night

For 24 years, I've walked God's beautiful earth

Walking, admiring, looking at the beauty that He's created

From the beautiful sunrises that always amaze and creates awe

To the breath-taking beauty of a sunset dipping below the horizon

From the deadly but enticing shows that lightning puts on in the skies

To the sight of waves crashing on the beach and rocks nearby

From beautiful shooting stars across a starry night

To the arousing serenity that a full moon over the ocean can bring to those who view it

I've had the chance to see a lot of the greatness that God has provided for this world

But there is 1 that He has shown me that will ALWAYS be #1 over them all

That is the sight of you, my angel of the night.

I will never forget when I first saw your face, how amazed I was

I've never seen beauty so light blinding, so amazingly awesome, so life changing

I would have never thought that you would have affected me the way that you did

I would have never thought that all the darkness would go away as fast as it did

I would have never thought that love would EVER feel so good, so right

Like it was already blessed and written down before I was even conceived

Your intellect, your drive, your heart, selfless, giving, caring, I could go on all day

Just your presence is as warm and inviting as the life giving nurture we get from the sun

I cant imagine you being anything like your mother is because of the difference of ways

My angel of the night, I love you so much, I never thought love could feel this good

It's only rivaled by the fact that I'm not with you and it seems like a black hole is there now

I know now that we must be apart because God's Will MUST be done first.

But you must know that there is not a night that goes by that I don't pray he reunites us

There's so much that I have seen about myself now when it comes to you

So many things that I thought I was doing right, but I wasn't. Done incorrectly or just WRONG

The chance I keep praying for to make amends and atone for the mistakes of our past

The moment I hope God brings you back and we can make our love last

God's presence in my heart and my mind required your separation from me. It is only that I hope that I understand if you are truly the 1 for me

All I can say is, my angel, there is no other woman on the planet I would rather be with

For my heart has always belonged to you even when I didn't know it, it belongs to you now, and it will forever belong to you

This dragon will die without the love of you my angel of night

For no other woman can make me smile, laugh, and lift me up the way you do

I can never love any woman like or better than you

It's because of you, Juju, that I understand how fragile love is and how it's something to be cherished

I have loved you from the moment that I saw you and I'm not the type to believe in love at first sight

But now I know that it's real because you are the blinding example of it

If we can never be united again, I just want the next man to be able to give you everything that I never could

To be able to love you, cherish you, treat you like his better half, and bring a light to you that I never could

I just want you to be happy, no matter what that means. I want the next man to always be able to see you, just the way I do and I will always see you, through God's eyes

I love you, Juju, and I will never stop, no matter what you say or do

This is my loyalty and my promise to you

When it comes to you, the fire of this dragon will never burn out

And my loyalty and love will never die

The Blood of A Dragon

The blood of the Red Dragon flows heavily through his veins

As he waits for his target in the pouring, drenching rain

He's trained well for a moment like this

Ready to strike, ready to make this moment his

1 slash of Kenshi and the target will be down in a flash

To the ground will his cold dead body crash

As he looks above his target with piercing cold eyes

Kenshi slashes 1 last time before you could hear his cries

Yet another target as been brought down by this warrior of might

The gratification of his blood running is something that he likes

But what happens when this warrior shares the fate he's given so many?

Will anybody know or care about it, will there be any?

It seems as though karma has to pay everyone back for actions they've done

It has a good track record, it's never missed a payback, not even 1

It does have a way breaking even the mightiest of warriors down

In the dragon's case, it attacked his heart, all you heard was a breaking sound

The dragon's fall was shocking, no one could have seen this

Except he, himself, because his heart is his only weakness

Even the warrior must answer the call when love knocks on his door

That's why it hurt even more when his heart broke on the floor

Who knows the future? Who can or wants to predict it?

It's a future that I, myself, truly want, and only God himself can fix it

The Dragon's fate was sealed by his own hands

It's his own fault that he fell by the words and actions of man

Who was he to stop fate? To try and stop what God has planned?

Who is he to question God, just so he can understand?

Things in this world cant always explained

But there are those that say "I am in control of my own fate!" as they boastfully exclaim

Whenever it does happen, however it does happen, only the Lord himself knows

The warrior can only recover and start to take life now as it comes and goes

Eventually, God will give back to the the warrior blessings that will cause floods

But for the moment, the broken heart spills this Dragon Warrior's blood...

Blackbird

The sun on the horizon, beautiful as the eye can see

A blackbird sits perched on a tree

Beautiful on the outside, with a long, glorious wingspan

But crying and tormented on the inside, wondering can anyone understand?

Wishing and longing to soar free above the clouds

Far Far away from things trying to tear him down and noise so loud

Longing to soar into the sun above

Feeling the warm embrace of the Sun's life giving love

Never to land, never to care

Never to hold onto the pain and the anguish he once bared

Always dreaming to hold his head up high, never letting it drop

Always dreaming to keep flying higher and never wanting to stop

He'll never forget the place from which he came

Never wanting to look back to see if it's still the same

Always looking to the horizon to see what's in store

Knowing that over the horizon he will find so much more

Oh blackbird, oh blackbird, please try to understand

You are more than what you realized than in the eyes of Man

Oh blackbird, oh blackbird, you should now see

That rising above everything can help you be free

Blackbird, you precious gift, never let anyone bring you down

You cant concede, you've come too far to give up now

Blackbird, oh blackbird, in this void you know you cannot stay

As you spread your wings and take flight, I hope that you find your way...

Birth of the Next Dragons: LSG

Over the last couple of weeks, my life really has gone through nothing but tests. It truly did seem like my world was sent straight to the depths of Tartarus (It's the Greek version of Hell, trust me, theirs is a lot more twisted). I've lost the 2 women that were most important to me both in terms of love and life. Charlize, the Lady Dragon, and myself are no more and that killed my heart. I also lost the love of a daughter in my baby girl, Jessyca Adryenne Demya Iverson. Losing my daughter is something that NO parent should EVER have to experience. Yes, she was my surrogate daughter and her true biological father was laid to rest before she was even born, but it doesn't change the fact that I loved that little girl like she was my own. It just feels as though everything is being taken from me, everything is trying its damnest to bring me down. Everything is trying to break me. Everything is trying to revert me back to what I once was. I would be lying if I said that those dark and angry times, wanting mayhem, causing destruction, thirsting for blood and unable to quench it didn't make me wanna turn back to it for just 1 day. There are times that I wanna delve back into the insanity that is the Joker and laugh at what humans take seriously, basking in the fact that this life and the humans that occupy it are the universe's biggest jokes. HA! HA! HA!

AS MUCH as I wanna go back to that life and just say fuck it all and enjoy bringing anarchy and chaos back to the world, (after all it was the Joker himself who said all it takes is 1 bad day for a man to go insane) I just cant do it and it's because of 1 HUGE, IMPORTANT, MONUMENTAL reason. And the crazy part about it?!?! That HUGE, IMPORTANT, MONUMENTAL reason hasn't even been conceived and born yet.

Whenever that day is, whatever month it's in, whatever year she's born, the world will stop for a second and the angels will sing when Lilliana Simone Gatewood arrives in the world and takes her first breath. That's honestly the day that my life will DEFINITELY change. That little girl is gonna be the reason so much of me changes PERMANENTLY for the good. I've had numerous visions of her just bopping around everywhere, getting into any and everything, and smiling her beautiful face off while she does it. My little angel has the most beautiful smile that I've EVER seen anybody have and it can truly light up your day when you feel that you're down to the lowest point. I see her dancing her little tail off ALL the time. She always running around with a big bear that I bought her. She takes it everywhere she goes and it's like her best friend, lol. I swear every time you see her she always has her hair up in a ponytail just like Fred Flintstone's daughter, Pebbles, which is where she gets her other nickname from. My angel will definitely be 1 that takes the world by storm. She will be raised with glory and honor of God and be instilled with values and the honor code of Bushido. My beautiful angel will be a Dragon in her own right because she will be trained to the highest level and everything that I know she will also possess. She will be a musical genius, knowing how to make her instrument of choice sing to crowds that will be hanging off every note that she plays.

My Lilli, understand that I love you SOOOOOOOO much. Even though you aren't in this world yet, you are the reason that I wake and that I still breathe. All the days and nights that I have to hold you and let you know how much I love you so much and how much you mean to me are times that I truly treasure. We will have our times when we clash, when we will butt heads, where you will totally disagree with what I'm doing. All I can say is trust me, baby. I wanna be able to give you the world and let you live your life, but the first thing that you must first realize and come to terms with is that I am your father. I must do what's best for you, even if you don't agree with it or want to do otherwise. I will make you this promise. It's something that a lot of fathers either don't do or they run out on it. Lilliana Simone, I make this VOW to you. I will ALWAYS be there for you. I will NEVER run out on you or ever abandon you when you need me the most. I PROMISE to...no, I PROMISE that I WILL and that I'm GOING TO BE the best father that I possibly can to you. Your life is the most precious thing in the world to me. You will be a certified Daddy's Girl, lol. I can say right now that if anybody tried doing you any kind of wrong, physical or not, they can count on themselves not breathing anymore. You've already lost your sister when Jessyca passed and I'll be damned to let that happen to you, my little princess. Regardless of who comes and who goes, I will always be with you and loyal to you, my Lilliana. I love you so much baby and when you are born, we will be inseparable. The only way that I will leave you, my daughter, is if the good Lord calls me home. Other than that, I'm all yours for whenever you need me, baby. I love you so much, Lilliana, and I will see you when you're born...

Fire Regenerated: Evolution of a Dragon

It's been a while since I've written an entry and it's a lot that's happened since then. But I think the best thing to do is to see how I've evolved over all that time. Since it's so damn much and some of it really isn't worth delving into, how about we start with 2007. Real deep in the middle of 8 year beef that took the lives of 4 people before 2007 and would go on to take 1 more a year later. This is the infamous year that I met the broad who is solely responsible for fucking my emotional life up and the consequences of that reverberated down through the years until this very moment as I'm typing this. Ms. Coneshia Danielle Turner. A name that will forever live in infamy in my life. When I first met her, I thought she was a normal girl. Didn't think too much of her being a fake. Didn't think that she had anything to lie about. She was from a part of Mississippi that I'm always around and traveled to since my granddad (Rest In Love) stayed in the backwoods not too far from Greenwood and my grandma ain't too far from her either. So I THOUGHT (keyword there) I would be able to see her a lot since I'm usually in and out of Mississippi at any given time. Never did I THINK she had anything to lie about. HA!!!! If I didn't play myself with the biggest fucking joke of all time, I just don't know. This damn girl lied about EVERYTHING!!! EVERY FUCKING THING YOU CAN IMAGINE SHE LIED ABOUT. Her age, what he looks like, almost her entire family dying, people that she said existed that never was thought about ever in life, cars that were still on the lot, homes that were nothing but trees, trust me, anything you can think of, she lied about and my brother would be able to vouch on that cuz she got his ass too LONG before I ever knew about either of them (Shout out to ya, Nick). I can stand on my own 2 and say that YES...I WAS THE DUMB ASS for ever listening to this damn girl in the first place. Especially since she left me abandoned twice and couldn't even look me in the face to give me a decent answer on why the fuck she did the shit in the first place. But hey, you live, you learn. you bury shit in the past and with anger and you move the hell on with your life, thinking it wont happen again right?

WRONG!!!!!!!! IT DID HAPPEN AGAIN!!! AND FROM A MUTHAFUCKA I DIDN'T THINK WOULD PULL THAT SHIT!!!

Now enters a woman by the name of Alanna Joy Byes. Now with her, I've known her almost 4 years. Met her on Tagged, just like Neshia and the other women I'm gonna mention also. (pretty much, NEVER join the damn site. all you're doing is signing a death warrant on your life. nothing but unnecessary drama comes from there.) But I digress. But yea, Alanna and I were damn good friends from the moment we met til we said that we would try a relationship between the 2 of us. It was actually pretty good. It lasted a year, so I guess that would be good. Never did I think that she would give me a reason to not trust her or that she would be lying to me about anything. *GAME SHOW BUZZER!!!* YOU SIR WERE WRONG AGAIN!!! I will never forget the day. August 26, 2009. That's when the truth was exposed. A day before, I met a girl named Bianca and she had a profile of a girl who I THOUGHT was posing as a fake of Alanna. HA!! Turns out that it was the other way around. AAAAANNNDDD that that was happening since the moment I first met her. Well basically, I got on the phone, chewed her the fuck out, said it was over and left the shit at that. Are we still friends? Yea, we are because she's a good friend, but will it ever be the same again after that shit? Not a chance in hell. Not because we didn't try. It just couldn't be that way again after all the time that went into it and how bad the lie hurt and how much time made it bleed worse.

THENNNN after her. Let's introduce the lady named Delnisha Williams. I knew her since May 5, 2009. We decided to give each other a go after the shit with Alanna went down and I left it at that. That was only a month of time used up because in late September, she comes calling me and telling me that she's pregnant. Now mind you, me and her were involved and got intimate, but penetration never happened between us. So you ALREADY know what that means. She told me that it was her ex's and THAT nigga already didn't like me for whatever reason that he could fathom in his head. I honestly couldn't tell you. But what I can is the fact that she later revealed that it wasn't even her ex's. IT WAS SOME NIGGA THAT PICKED HER UP WHEN SHE WAS ASSHOLE BUSTED. That she said was a "friend." She was drunk and shit happens. You would think that's OK and I should be cool with that, HELL NAH. If you can sit in my face and tell me that you love me, your actions should be able to prove that. So now, she has another daughter and Dezzy is a cute as a damn button forreal, but she is the result of a drunken night of lust.

Fast Forward about a year and then we arrive at August 2, 2010. I can say that's when my life truly changed for the better. I met this young woman by the name of Charlize Christiana Kean. Beautiful young lady. Head on right, busting her ass to better herself and rise above everything that was negative in her family, or as she says, her non-existent family. I can tell you about everything that's happened between us, but because this is the woman that I'm in love with despite where we are now, and because I truly, TRULY haven't lost an ounce of respect for this woman, this is between us and ONLY us. OUT OF EVERY WOMAN THAT I NAMED, she is the ONLY 1 that has come to me right after she did what she did and told me the truth right then and there. Because of that, I will always have the utmost respect and love for her because she's the only real woman that I've ever known to do that for me in a relationship when she didn't have to. Regardless of what she thinks, is doing right now, or wants to believe, I know deep in my soul that I'm suppose to be in this woman's life and we are suppose to be walking together through it until death do we part. Charlize, if you're reading this right now, just know that I'm keeping my blood oath and I'm patiently waiting. Don't care what you think or say, just know that I am.

The evolution of my mind through these things has made me wanna say that I should have said fuck women a LONGGGGGGGGGG time ago. That's what any other "sane" human being on this planet would have said. That I'm the stupid 1 for putting up with these women and that I should have just smashed and moved on. Yea I should have, yea I should have left, but I didn't. If this would have happened back in my teen years, then yea, I would have been split the fuck out. My mind has grown and I have evolved to know that EVERYBODY deserves a chance and a chance after that and a chance after that. The Bible itself states in Matthew 18:22 when asked how many times should you forgive a person? Jesus himself states and I quote" I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but seventy times seven." I've evolved beyond my peers and some family and I choose not to look at the world the way that I used to. It's because I used to look at the world in such anger and disgust, I was only adding to the problem instead of trying to help cure it. Don't get me wrong, I will ALWAYS look at this world in disgust and how humanity is sometimes, but if I can help just 1 person just learn to love, they in turn, would wanna help someone else, and they would help someone else, and so on and so forth, and that is just 1 small step to helping this world embrace love again. The evolution of this dragon as been a long and trying 1 but it's because of the grace of the God and a young woman named Charlize that I can say that I'm on my way back to embracing that great blessing from above called love and trying to help people not tear that apart again.

It's been fun, but now you can exit now, be sure to come back for the next entry, whenever it gets posted lol...