But even with all of that, I know that this time of trial wasn't brought on by the enemy. It was brought on by my Lord God. I don't know everything that's gonna come out of this, but what I do know is the promise that He made to me. I also understand part of the reason why I'm going through this, at least now I do. I have to grow in order to be the man that I'm suppose to be for the woman that He promised to me (understand, Nuki, Yahweh revealed the same thing to you that He did to me, He's gonna bring the rest of the revelation around soon). I am suppose to grow to be able to lead by example and be a better man than what I already am. I am suppose to cling to the Lord and truly know that He provides all that I need and spoils me with the things that I want also. But to me, the most important thing is that I come to Him with any and everything that I need and wait on His timing and wisdom to bring it to come to pass.
But while those things are good to realize and understand, they don't involve you just waiting and nothing happens to you. In the last 2 months, I can say that I've cried more times than any other time period in my life. I can sit here and stand on my own 2 and say that I've cried over the woman that I'm in love with and that I hope this situation gets resolved. I've been mocked, clowned, called a pussy, a bitch, a sprung ass punk, ALL by dudes who apparently think that I don't need this woman and that it's more pussy in the world and I can go and get another broad who's better than her. There are those on her side who would probably think that I got another girl anyway and that I'm moving on with my life and she should also, which is what everybody is doing. While these and my people could be right, they aren't and it's because of a couple of things:
- - God put this woman on my heart as the 1 who I would spend the rest of my life with. I know now that when He puts something on your heart, it WILL come to pass as long as you never give up on it and keep faith and hope in Him.
- -When God gives you a command to do something and it's something for your future that you will be blessed in, you do what He tells you to do. Even if it looks like nothing is happening or that everything is going opposite of what you think should happen, it's all being done for the good of you.
I could choose to move on with my life. I could choose to find another girl and start dating. I could choose to disobey and tell God that she wasn't the 1 for me and that He was lying. But if I did all of that, it would only lead to sorrow for me and a lot of darker days than what I am enduring now. The fact of the matter is, I...let me repeat that again...I prayed to God about revealing to me the woman that I would spend the rest of my life with and He answered my prayers when He revealed her to me. But the twist to it is, He never said what I had to go through in order for that to happen, He only showed me what awaits me at the end. He never said that I wouldn't have to endure hardships in order to earn what He will bless me with. He never said that I wouldn't have any lonely nights or heartaches or crying times. He only showed me the end result. AND now that I just typed that out and reread it real quick, I understand that now. I don't know the time frame. I don't know how it will happen. I just know that God ALWAYS does what He says He's gonna do. NO Ifs, Ands, OR Buts ABOUT IT! Most things that don't come to past is usually because we give up when we are SOOO close to obtaining it.
I cant or wont lie and say that this trial and situation hasn't come damn near close to breaking my heart. On a couple of occasions, it had so many cracks in it, I thought it was gonna break at any given moment. But I can say that because God has been with me and has kept me and refilled me with His grace, love and strength, that has given me the will and the determination to keep pushing, keep believing, keep praying, keep having faith, keep hoping, keep anticipating, that I'm getting closer and closer everyday. Nuki herself said it best, even in the midst of overwhelming opposition, Yahweh is still stronger than all of that. And I believe her. You are stronger than all of that God because you have done it in my life before. The scripture says that "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." I've had a lot of crying nights, lost sleep, fighting in my dreams, fighting all the things that the enemy has been putting in my head, trying to make me see, trying to get me to hear. I would be lying if I said that I didn't wanna give into them. I've wanted to just say forget it all and I just need to move on with my life because she's happy, he's happy, they are both happy together and both of their families are happy with their union. But even in the midst of overwhelming opposition, I have the power of God to call on and I can do all things when I call on the name of the Lord.
With all that I've been through since August of 2010 and in the last 2 months. All the crying, all of the invasion of my thoughts, all of the Bible readings, the learning, the voices trying to get me off the path, the enemy trying to turn me away and get me off the path, and even the fact that he has now turned up the intensity on his attacks, I can still praise God for everything that He has done, is doing right now, and will do for me in the future. He's brought me from the old things that I was, turned me around, got rid of some old and bad habits of mine, and is molding me into a Godly man who will be a Godly husband and a Godly father. 1 who can lead with gentle leadership and has a gentle tongue. Who loves his wife like Christ loves the Church and as he loves himself, but still keeps God first place and understands that his family needs to be closer unto Him. At end of the day, He's the only name that I can count on because He has never left me nor forsaken me even when everybody else has and did in the past. Even when I thought there was nobody there or that I was completely alone, He was always there with His hands on me.
As I close this, I know that God will bring all that He promised me to pass. I'm expecting my blessing every day and I know that it's on the way and it will be here very soon. Romans 8:28 says that "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them that are called according to His purpose." Everything that's been happening is being worked out for me and for the good of me for a blessing and that so I can be a witness and have a testimony behind it, and that also includes the transformation that has been happening inside me also. I also cant be mad at the other pawn in this because even he MUST bow down to the will of the Most High and like it says in Proverbs 6:30-31, "People do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his appetite when he is hungry, but if he is caught, he will pay sevenfold; he will give all the goods of his house."
When you have the Lord fighting your battles and you are believing and keeping the faith and hope in Him, there is NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING that you cant accomplish and there is nothing that He cant or WILL withhold from you. So through it all, I can still praise Him because He has been too good to me for not to and even if He never does or will do anything else for me, what He has done for the first 24 years of my life, blessed enough to EVEN SEE 24, He has already done more than enough. So with this I say, be blessed reader, and know that the power of the Lord is near you, in you, and all around you.
No comments:
Post a Comment