Redemption

So much has happened over the last 3 weekends in the month of July, it was just SOOOOOOOOOOO crazy. So much elation and then some down moments. A level of love so hard and so deep that I fell in, I never thought that such a level ever existed and then unbearable, excruciating silence. SO MANY HIGH FEELINGS off revelations and the possibility of new and great things happening, ONLY to be faced with lies and reneging of what was said. The devil is a liar and I say and command that he lets go right now...once and for all and let God be God and let God do the work that deceit, lies, and only outward smoke covered to see the unveiling of the NEW, IMPROVED work of art that the Lord has made. The darkness of the lies will be dissipated by the light of truth. The veil of deception will be torn down with sword of revelation and the outward smoke hiding what is really behind it will be blown away by the true Voice of the Lord and His grace and tender mercy will be shown and Satan WILL and MUST flee.

I can say that I treated a good thing like a god thing and turned it into a despicable thing and THAT'S  a mistake that will NEVER happen again and you can bank on that not happening. To leave you with the Bible verse that completely turned me and yesterday forward around for me is:

"I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you." Isaiah 44:22 NIV

The Honor Code

The honor code. It's a code that's been around for centuries. A code that only the most upright and legendary warriors carried with them and was the foundation that they stood on. A code that the noble samurai carried with them at all times and that they held with the strictest honor, which include disciplinary action or even death if the code was broken and it was required that they were to pay that penalty. The code of the warrior was 1 that wasn't broken or taken lightly back in those days. Oh to be living in that time...

Nowadays, it's EXTREMELY, HIGHLY UNLIKELY, and damn near IMPOSSIBLE to see the honor code being carried out in these times. It seems as though no man can truly understand what these values are and how important they are. Seems like nothing is cherished or appreciated anymore. That goes for possessions and also for the people that are in your life, be they man or woman. Nothing is respected anymore. Relationships don't stand for what they used to be back in the day. To put that simple, the definition of a relationship in society's mind today is the acquiring of a new copulation partner. Kinda sad when you come to understand that they mean so much more, but hey, that's how it is in society today.

I can genuinely and honestly say that I'm 1 of the last few of men who carries the code of the warrior and the honor code extremely close to my heart. Anybody can vouch for that and 1 especially can tell you that if anybody embodies those codes, it's definitely me. I live by the code of Bushido, the code of the warrior, and also the honor code as they all pertain to me and if you knew me intimately, you would also know that the things listed in them are me down to a T. So with that being said, let's break each of the codes down and also know that some of them intertwine with the others.

The Code of Bushido

This code is the 1 the ancient samurai warriors in Japan used back in the day and they held it dear to their hearts and also with their lives. Each point states:

• Rectitude - I will use correct judgment at a time where judgment is called for. I will strike when it is the right time to strike. I will do the right thing at the right time. Crooked ways and unjust actions are lowly and inhumane

• Courage - Courage is a virtue only in the cause of righteousness. Sacrificing safety for an unworthy cause is stupidity. I will admit my mistakes. I will sacrifice myself in order to save someone from despair. I will stand on my right decisions.

• Love - Love, affection for others, sympathy, and an excellence of mind and character towards other people are the highest attributes of the soul. I will use love and benevolence to strive for supreme virtues and princely acts. (in my case, kingly lol)

• Respect - Politeness, courtesy, and excellent manners will be a part of my life. Politeness is a poor virtue if it is only actuated by a fear of offending. It must stem from a sympathetic regard for others.

• Veracity - Lying is a cowardly, dishonorable act. My word can be taken as a guarantee of truthfulness.

• Honor - The honorable person is the humble person. Without honor, there is no respect and without respect, there is no honor. Honor is like a scar on a tree, which time only helps to enlarge.

• Rectitude - I will be loyal to my family, my teachers, my fellow students in the art and to those who teach me outside the dojo. I will never forget the teachers who labored for me.

And there you have it. The code of Bushido. I take this very seriously as it has traits about me that are very close and HUGELY important to me and that I uphold with the highest integrity and honor. But that's just the code of Bushido. Let's now look at the next 1, The Code of the Warrior.

The Code of the Warrior

• A warrior always heads into battle with dignity and honor, never with an ego which can cause him shame, embarrassment, or dishonor.

• A warrior always tries to diffuse a problem or potential battle with diplomacy first. Seeking to find peaceful ways to end a confrontation rather than heading foolhardily into a battle.

• A warrior never enters into a battle that he knows that he cannot win. He only stands and fights when there are no other means of escape.

• A warrior shows humility and honor after a battle.

The code of the Warrior. Things that most niggas nowadays cant or wont even attempt to understand because everybody is gassed up on peer pressure or feel that they aren't "man" enough to walk away from a fight and that they will be labeled a "bitch." You're only a bitch when you don't have to fight and choose to anyway because of the fact that you gave into peer pressure which means that you were a follower and not a leader to begin with. There's actually more in this code, but those are the most important things. Knowing when to pick and fight your battles saves you energy, time, blood, and unnecessary anger brought on by what The Boondocks put best, "a nigga moment."

Now at last, we come to the code that I uphold and cherish the most. The honor code.

The Honor Code

• Loyalty - Being able to stand true to someone regardless of what they put you through or will put you through in the future. Tests and all.

• Respect - being able to put aside differences with those who don't agree with your opinions or those that you might not even like and be able to find a common ground with on a mutual level of respect.

• Honor - Always upholding the morals and the virtues that you were either blessed with, gained through upbringing, or that you had to learn on your own. To be understanding and respectful of those who are in relationships, woman or man, and be able to put aside your own feelings to be what's rare in this world now, a genuine friend. To have enough respect for you and yourself to not run interference to a person who's in a committed relationship or marriage.

• Love - the unconditional ability to love when loving is at it's hardest. To forgive, when forgiving the most unforgivable actions calls for it. To love, in spite of what's happened to you and still be able to be there for the 1 you love and cater to their needs and wants. To stand until the very end with your partner when you wanna give up.

• Patience - The 1 thing that's key to honor. When times are tough, you wanna give up, you wanna break down, you wanna say forget it. Having the patience to just wait and keep on pushing, regardless of the obstacles, of the pain, of the heartache and anguish. To know that everything will be better in the end and that just having patience with the problem or your partner would have been worth all of the tears and heartache.

It's 3 codes I hold true and those that I never will break. But living in a world like this, it makes me wonder, why in the hell do I still hold on to them? Why do I still continue to try and be an honorable man when it does nothing but get me spit upon, left in the dust, hurt, heartbroken, and sometimes broken and the ones that aren't honorable at all get all the breaks, get the women they want, get all that they desire, and everything works out the way they want it to? I stop to think that every time I see it in my face and currently as it happens to me, but then I stop to think about it. I shouldn't worry about it because of 1 person. God. He created me this way for a reason, and it's because I am an honorable person that I can still keep striving. Keep pushing. Keep going through this storm to see the sunshine that lies over the horizon. I'm dangerously close to it because I can feel the enemy turn up his attacks on me and when that happens, I'm usually close to a breakthrough, if I don't give up.

These codes drives my inner fire. They have instilled in me the right morals, values, and virtues that I need for my future. A lot of folk can say a LOT about me (at least in terms of the past anyway). But 1 thing that they can say about me that neither of them can doubt, even if they denied it then. EVEN my adversaries can say this about me. I'm an honorable man to do the things that I can do. My name and what I stand for have been dragged through the mud. I've been lied on. Things have been said that I've moved on with my life. I'm fucking some other broad now. I have a new girl. I got this. I got that. I'm doing this. I'm doing that. Speculation on the fact that it ruins the chance to keep the hold or get the hold. Whatever it is that's being said about me. Keep saying it. Be my guest. Does nothing but make the power of the lie that much weaker. Anybody who knows me knows about my integrity and knows that if I give my word, I'm gonna keep it, by any means necessary.

Say what you want about me. But you cant doubt this 1 thing. Out of all the things anybody can say. Look at their actions, from past to present and then look at mine. 1 of the only words you will be able to come up with is...honorable.

A Storm on the Horizon...

Normally, I would have come up with the title to this in regards to me and something that I have a bad foreboding on. But THIS TIME?!?!?!?! This entry isn't even about me, but it does have something to do with me and how God is gonna use this potential storm for my good. Like I heard my new pastor say on the first Sunday of this month, his sermon was about how in the Gospel of John 8:30, Jesus said, "It is finished." The way that comes off, it means as though the act was done and nothing else was suppose to become of it. When He said that, that means that He should have just died and not rose again on the 3rd day. The father who translated the Bible from the original Greek into Latin got the phrase, "It is finished" mixed up. Jesus didn't say, "It is finished." He said, "Finished." Meaning that He was done with His part on the cross and now it was on to the next phase of God's Master Plan and it was for Him to resurrect from the dead and bring salvation to all that believes in His name and those future people that will believe that He died on Calvary and rose again 3 days later (just a little history for ya, lol). I can now say that I do understand why I was told to be still by the Lord and just wait, regardless of how hard it was and still is. But I realized that He also told me to be still because of a revelation that I was just given not too long before I started typing this. The part that I was suppose to go through and experience myself, I'm finished with that part. That doesn't mean that I'm gonna falter in what I've been learning since this started, but most of my part is over now.

There's a storm on the horizon because of the fact an entity from the past has now resurfaced and it's a storm that's coming for the shores of a barely stable situation. If there's 1 thing that I do know, 1 of players in this monumental game of chess already has her pieces in play and her strategy already formulated and ready to call checkmate. But even above all that, God has already woven this part of the tapestry. It's only now that I'm starting to see what could possibly be over that horizon. I have a terrible foreboding about this drama filled storm. But I understand that He told me to be still because this storm has to pass over me and head to where it's suppose to while I'm completely safe in God's love and He allows me to see the outcome of it. But it's like I learned yesterday, sometimes God permits what He hates to accomplish what He loves. That's something myself, those who believe in Him, and even YOU READING THIS should keep in your mind. There's a storm on the horizon, are you ready for it?

In the midst of it all, I can still Praise

I can definitely say that these last 2 months have been probably the most trying time of my life to date. Even more trying than the 8 year beef that took almost everything away from me. I would consider these last couple of months the most trying time because that beef didn't affect my weakness, it was only because of somebody completely idiotic. This has been directed at the 1 weakness that no enemy of mine (on Earth at least) would have ever thought about attacking. This is the matter of my heart. My heart is my greatest strength and also my greatest weakness because of the emotions that it deals out. I can say that I've been through a plethora of different emotions over this time and I gotta say, it isn't the most fun thing in the world.

But even with all of that, I know that this time of trial wasn't brought on by the enemy. It was brought on by my Lord God. I don't know everything that's gonna come out of this, but what I do know is the promise that He made to me. I also understand part of the reason why I'm going through this, at least now I do. I have to grow in order to be the man that I'm suppose to be for the woman that He promised to me (understand, Nuki, Yahweh revealed the same thing to you that He did to me, He's gonna bring the rest of the revelation around soon). I am suppose to grow to be able to lead by example and be a better man than what I already am. I am suppose to cling to the Lord and truly know that He provides all that I need and spoils me with the things that I want also. But to me, the most important thing is that I come to Him with any and everything that I need and wait on His timing and wisdom to bring it to come to pass.

But while those things are good to realize and understand, they don't involve you just waiting and nothing happens to you. In the last 2 months, I can say that I've cried more times than any other time period in my life. I can sit here and stand on my own 2 and say that I've cried over the woman that I'm in love with and that I hope this situation gets resolved. I've been mocked, clowned, called a pussy, a bitch, a sprung ass punk, ALL by dudes who apparently think that I don't need this woman and that it's more pussy in the world and I can go and get another broad who's better than her. There are those on her side who would probably think that I got another girl anyway and that I'm moving on with my life and she should also, which is what everybody is doing. While these and my people could be right, they aren't and it's because of a couple of things:

• - God put this woman on my heart as the 1 who I would spend the rest of my life with. I know now that when He puts something on your heart, it WILL come to pass as long as you never give up on it and keep faith and hope in Him.

• -When God gives you a command to do something and it's something for your future that you will be blessed in, you do what He tells you to do. Even if it looks like nothing is happening or that everything is going opposite of what you think should happen, it's all being done for the good of you.

I could choose to move on with my life. I could choose to find another girl and start dating. I could choose to disobey and tell God that she wasn't the 1 for me and that He was lying. But if I did all of that, it would only lead to sorrow for me and a lot of darker days than what I am enduring now. The fact of the matter is, I...let me repeat that again...I prayed to God about revealing to me the woman that I would spend the rest of my life with and He answered my prayers when He revealed her to me. But the twist to it is, He never said what I had to go through in order for that to happen, He only showed me what awaits me at the end. He never said that I wouldn't have to endure hardships in order to earn what He will bless me with. He never said that I wouldn't have any lonely nights or heartaches or crying times. He only showed me the end result. AND now that I just typed that out and reread it real quick, I understand that now. I don't know the time frame. I don't know how it will happen. I just know that God ALWAYS does what He says He's gonna do. NO Ifs, Ands, OR Buts ABOUT IT! Most things that don't come to past is usually because we give up when we are SOOO close to obtaining it.

I cant or wont lie and say that this trial and situation hasn't come damn near close to breaking my heart. On a couple of occasions, it had so many cracks in it, I thought it was gonna break at any given moment. But I can say that because God has been with me and has kept me and refilled me with His grace, love and strength, that has given me the will and the determination to keep pushing, keep believing, keep praying, keep having faith, keep hoping, keep anticipating, that I'm getting closer and closer everyday. Nuki herself said it best, even in the midst of overwhelming opposition, Yahweh is still stronger than all of that. And I believe her. You are stronger than all of that God because you have done it in my life before. The scripture says that "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." I've had a lot of crying nights, lost sleep, fighting in my dreams, fighting all the things that the enemy has been putting in my head, trying to make me see, trying to get me to hear. I would be lying if I said that I didn't wanna give into them. I've wanted to just say forget it all and I just need to move on with my life because she's happy, he's happy, they are both happy together and both of their families are happy with their union. But even in the midst of overwhelming opposition, I have the power of God to call on and I can do all things when I call on the name of the Lord.

With all that I've been through since August of 2010 and in the last 2 months. All the crying, all of the invasion of my thoughts, all of the Bible readings, the learning, the voices trying to get me off the path, the enemy trying to turn me away and get me off the path, and even the fact that he has now turned up the intensity on his attacks, I can still praise God for everything that He has done, is doing right now, and will do for me in the future. He's brought me from the old things that I was, turned me around, got rid of some old and bad habits of mine, and is molding me into a Godly man who will be a Godly husband and a Godly father. 1 who can lead with gentle leadership and has a gentle tongue. Who loves his wife like Christ loves the Church and as he loves himself, but still keeps God first place and understands that his family needs to be closer unto Him. At end of the day, He's the only name that I can count on because He has never left me nor forsaken me even when everybody else has and did in the past. Even when I thought there was nobody there or that I was completely alone, He was always there with His hands on me.

As I close this, I know that God will bring all that He promised me to pass. I'm expecting my blessing every day and I know that it's on the way and it will be here very soon. Romans 8:28 says that "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them that are called according to His purpose." Everything that's been happening is being worked out for me and for the good of me for a blessing and that so I can be a witness and have a testimony behind it, and that also includes the transformation that has been happening inside me also. I also cant be mad at the other pawn in this because even he MUST bow down to the will of the Most High and like it says in Proverbs 6:30-31, "People do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his appetite when he is hungry, but if he is caught, he will pay sevenfold; he will give all the goods of his house."

When you have the Lord fighting your battles and you are believing and keeping the faith and hope in Him, there is NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING that you cant accomplish and there is nothing that He cant or WILL withhold from you. So through it all, I can still praise Him because He has been too good to me for not to and even if He never does or will do anything else for me, what He has done for the first 24 years of my life, blessed enough to EVEN SEE 24, He has already done more than enough. So with this I say, be blessed reader, and know that the power of the Lord is near you, in you, and all around you.