The Blood Pact

The blood promise. It's something that I don't take lightly at all. It's a oath that I take to show my dedication and loyalty to whatever it is I promised. It's a promise so important that I will keep it, no matter the cost or circumstances. It's something that defines me and shows that I'm true to my word. Dedication of my promise is that I shed my blood to show my adherence to it. It's not a lot of times that I take this oath, so when I do, best believe that I'm holding onto it until either the promise is fulfilled or something so devastating negates the promise and even then, depending on what it is, wont stop me from keeping it. 


Like I said, it's been a few things in my life that I've given the blood oath to. Raising my daughter, Jessyca, when her biological father was murdered before she was even born. I stupidly made 1 on a woman that I shouldn't have and as of now, she's the 1 exception that negates me not having to carry out the promise. I took 1 on never taking a person's life willingly, only in the midst of battle, if I ever allowed it to get THAT far. It's been some important times in my life where it was needed, but none that's stood out to me more than the 1 that I took on the night of March 26/27th, 2011. That night changed me drastically forever. That was the night me and my love got into the worst argument that we've ever been in and it was brought to a point that we gave up on everything, everyone, and almost each other and decided that the only way out was to kill ourselves. The crazy part about that is, even though we came close to giving up on each other, we were willing to kill ourselves in front of each other in order to show to the other the love that was running through our blood for each other. Never before has such an unprecedented time occurred in my life before that night. NEVER have I reached a point like that in ANY relationship that I was in before her and to want to take my life in front of the one I love while she was watching and vice versa meant something. 


I honestly cant tell you what the hell the argument was over at the end. I'm willing to bet pretty good money, she doesn't remember either. What's CLEAR though is the impact and the legacy that it imprinted on the both of us. Looking back on that night, 1 year later tonight, I can see that that was the stepping stone into a whole new level of deeper meaning and the beginning of an eye opening for the 2 of us. A year later on this date, we both can see how much we truly mean to each other. How deep our love runs for each other, but also, we see the fear that we have in each other. It's not that we are afraid of each other or that we don't want to be together. It's the fact that we want to be together and we know how good we are to each other. That's something neither of us has truly experienced in our lives and to find that in the other is both a thrilling and fearful thing. It's human nature to fear what you don't understand, and neither of us understand the impact that we have had on each other and the divine potential that we have to truly change each other and bring about a happiness that's never been felt in either of our lives. 


I don't blame her for this, at least not anymore, and I don't think that she could be mad at me for feeling that way sometimes. It's just how it is when you can see greatness standing right in front of you and you're scared to take it because you feel as though you don't deserve it. It's a feeling that most that come across it have to deal with, (not talking about the folk that's entitled and feel they deserve it and didn't lift a fucking finger to earn it). The first step of faith is always hard, but it's so worth it once it's taken. The night of March 26/27th changed me deeply because never did I think that I would ACTUALLY do something like that. But the real thing is, never did I think I could EVER love a woman as much as I love you. After all the dust settled, after we talked, after we calmed down and we looked into each other's eyes that night, I finally realize the reason I love you so much and it's not just because you are my Angel. I love you the way I do because of how vulnerable you are. How you cry out for help, and even though you hate to admit it and show it, you call out for it. That even though you think the strong woman you are doesn't exist, she really does. She's buried in the helplessness inside of the outer shell that you put on to try and be strong for others. She cant be made manifest when you grab on to a hand that's ready to pull her out. 


For you and only you, my Angel of the night, will I shed my blood and will I continue to endure, constantly living in torment, suffering, and pain. Because I took a blood oath on you, I will never give up on you. I will never leave your side when you call on me. Even though you cant see me, I'm always there, watching in the shadows. My protector's eye always watching over you. My hand, always extended, waiting for you to grab it. You are and will forever be, the most beautiful creature that I've ever laid eyes on and that Yahweh brought into my life and I am forever and eternally grateful for that. My Angel, there's something that you did that night also that I didn't realize until November 13, 2011. It was the night of March 26/27th that you took a blood oath on myself also. It was the fateful night of November 13 that showed you that in spite of it all and in spite of everything that transpired between those 2 dates, you couldn't be without me also. Your last thoughts were of me, or so you thought they were the last. We have the blood and the essence of each other flowing through our veins. Our essences passed on to each other every time we consummated. Our spirits, unbreakable, every time we looked into each other's eyes. Our will power, never giving up on each other, no matter what.


While March 26/27th was meant to be a bad night, our Father used it and turned it around for something good because He showed us something that 2 ordinary humans thought was gone, but that He knew all along was there because He planted it there. We thought love was gone, but He knew that was only the beginning of the strengthening process and that the love between us is more powerful and stronger than we could have ever dreamed or thought. It was on this night that me and my love took a blood pact on each other and it was also on this night that we both realized, how much we both love each other, now and forever...

March 1st

On this day, Yahweh gave this world a beautiful gift. She's by far the most beautiful woman that's ever graced His green earth, in my eyes at least. In spite of all that's happened and all that's going on, this woman is still the most beautiful creation that I've ever seen Yahweh make and that He's ever given to me. Happy birthday to you, my Angel of the night. I love you.